Author Archives: admin

Re-Experience China:  “An Arm is No Match for a Leg”

“Guess what time I start my day,” Mr. Guo chuckled, not without pride, when I thanked him for picking me up at the hotel. It was 6:20 am when I climbed into his car, so I guessed he started his … Continue reading

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Portraits of Artists: Vladimir Davidovich Ashkenazy

When I read my colleague Bernice Chan’s interview  with Vladimir Davidovich Ashkenazy, it was almost like listening to him talking again, his eyes glistening with childlike smiles. Shining miles revealing a pure soul. Bernice and I were lucky to get two … Continue reading

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Are We Double Blessed Now?

My mother suddenly announced that she now believed in Jesus, in a tone of a three-year-old declaring herself to be a grownup. My siblings and I were as shocked as amused by her announcement. How would a Hakka woman as … Continue reading

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Portraits of artists: Xu Bing

The very first time I saw his artworks, I knew he would remain one of my favorite contemporary Chinese artists. That artwork is called “Book from the Ground.” It depicts a day of a man’s life with emojis, and emojis … Continue reading

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From Mozart to Man Ray to Jimmy Choo

I have been jumpy these days, starting from  my obsession with Mitsuko Uchida. Even though I urge myself to concentrate on my writing after dinner almost every evening, I  put on my earphones right after I open my laptop,  soon get … Continue reading

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Happy Father’s Day父亲节,聊聊女权运动中的男人

七岁的黄圣智(Tony Huang)看见父亲黄磊,飞奔过去,跳到他的怀里,亲他一口。黄磊回亲儿子一口,问他都做了什么,嘴巴笑成一条弧线。每天下午3点,黄磊离开公司到小学接大儿子圣智,然后带着圣智去幼儿园接小儿子其原(Alvin Huang)。从幼儿园出来,父子仨在公园里玩耍,然后走路回家。小学、幼儿园和家都在瑞典首都斯德哥尔摩西郊 Västra Skogen 附近,步行不用十分钟。两岁的其原还没学会讲话,已很善于表达自己,很黏黄磊,有时会耍点小脾气,黄磊总是很耐心。圣智大概偶尔会吃点小醋,那天因为我在,没和弟弟争宠,拉着我的手要带我看他的各种发现:蚂蚁窝、猫头鹰、啄木鸟、老鹰、小山坡上的一块大岩石、一棵大树下的鸟食槽、花园里刚冒出头的郁金香 …… 他几次提醒我 :“阿姨,走路千万小心,别踩着蚂蚁。”偶尔扭过头提醒黄磊:“爸爸,别踩着蚂蚁。”带着瑞典口音的京腔,娇声软语,能让人感受到他生长在有爱的环境里。黄磊笑呵呵地看着儿子,不无骄傲地说:“儿子是我一把屎一把尿带大的。” 在斯德哥尔摩中心社区 Södemalm,建筑设计师和电影艺术家 Daniel Bengstson 在家与14个月大的儿子玩游戏,给他换尿片,喂他吃饭,抱他到楼顶嗮太阳、看风景,带他超市购物。他在休产假,正值产假的第四个月。伴侣 Anna 晚上下班回家问他们父子俩一天都做了什么,他笑答,你该问有什么我们没有做的。他觉得 Anna 妒忌他可以一整天陪儿子,嫉妒他们父子之间的亲密,因此很得意,虽然带孩子烦琐而辛苦,一天下来,累得要趴下。但休产假带儿子的经历让他改变了以往独来独往、独自工作的习惯。儿子给他一种神圣的责任感。因为儿子,他更愿意直接面对矛盾,而他的内心却更加柔软。“看到小孩子,心简直要融化掉。”他笑着说。可是,他自己的父亲并不理解休产假的行为,认为带孩子浪费了他艺术家的才能,对男人的事业是一种伤害。 如果 Daniel 的父亲认识身为投资咨询公司创办人和 CEO 的黄磊,他又会怎么想呢?他会不会改变关于男人休产假的想法,会不会认为做事业与养孩子可以没有冲突? 黄磊和两个儿子从公园回到家后,第一件事情是督促小儿子使用便器小便,把儿子的尿倒到厕所,和儿子一起洗手,他解释说,太太特意强调要让小儿子使用便器,不能再用尿片。“我太太是做幼教的,教育孩子的事情,我听她的。” 他陪儿子的时间远多过瑞典太太黄晓叶(ErikaHuang)。他每天早上8点半送两个孩子上学,下午3点下班后去接孩子,陪他们玩,直到太太下班回到家。这时候,太太陪儿子玩,他则到厨房煮晚饭。有好奇的同事会问黄晓叶,嫁给中国男人是怎样一种经历,她总回答:“既能享受中国男人的宠爱,又能享受瑞典式的男女平等权利。” 不过,夫妻俩都不认为自己是女权运动人士(Feminists),对于当下盛行的女权运动,甚至保持着一定的距离。他们对一些女权人士的某些做法并不认可,认为有些事情划分得太清楚:“有些夫妻这样分工:一、三、五我带孩子,二、四、六你带孩子。还有‘我只煮我和孩子的饭’。”黄磊曾看到一名孕妇提着重物,丈夫袖手旁观,他问为什么不帮太太,丈夫说:“她没让我帮忙啊。男女平等。”言下之意,不经女人的同意,擅自去做她的事情,是对她平等权利的侵犯。中国男人黄磊和他的瑞典太太都认为,这种所谓的五五分行为其实否认了两性的天然区别。 “真正的男女平等,不是什么都五五分,也不是让女人像男人,或男人像女人那样。真正的平等是爱,是不离不弃,是更多为对方着想。”来自北京的黄磊和瑞典太太过着北欧式的白开水生活。他用“北欧心态”来形容自己。不过他承认,也只有在瑞典的制度环境里,他的这种北欧心态才有存在可能。 在瑞典,父母双方一共可以休480天产假,其中父母各自有90天必修产假,其余300天由双方自由分配。休产假期间可领取80% 的工资。孩子满12岁前,如果生病了,父母每年可以累积请假120天。照顾生病孩期间,他们也可领取工资的80%。这些家庭福利之所以能实现,和瑞典税收制度很有关系。瑞典的收入税全世界最高,不少人纳税高达工资的50%以上。正是高税收使这里成为世界上最平等的国家之一,税收政策和透明制度保障了公民从摇篮到坟墓的基本福利。除了父母可以休产假、照顾孩子的病假,瑞典还有高质量的免费教育,这进一步捍卫了国家的平等和幸福指数。而性别平等正是瑞典平等社会极其重要的一部分。 4月,瑞典学院在斯德哥尔摩举办了性别平等论坛。三天会议中,我经常听到一句话:瑞典政府是一个女权政府(AFeminist Government),但还远未达到真正的性别平等。会议结束没多久就爆发诺贝尔文学奖性丑闻。这似乎证明,即便是瑞典,离真正的性别平等也还有很远。有多远?无人能给出确切的答案。但有一点是肯定的,没有男性的参与,两性的平等将遥遥无期。 幸运的是,已经有男性开始参与女权运动。有像黄磊和Daniel 这样的父亲和伴侣,并不自称为女权人士,但一直用行动给家人平等、尊重和爱,一言一行都是对后代的性别平等教育。不难想见,当黄磊和Daniel的儿子们长大成人,他们会很自然地、以完全平等的心态与女性相处。 还有以“女权主义者”自居的男性。来自赞比亚的 Nelson 1997年投身女权运动,经常被嘲讽为“穿裤子的女人”。Nelson 年来致力于赞比亚的性别平等教育,工作重点是向18至24岁的年轻人,尤其是年轻男性灌输两性平等和科学生育的理念。Nelson 说,“要改变人们对‘男子汉气概’的定义。对女人温柔,帮女人做家务活并不等于没有男子汉气概。”他经常到赞比亚农村,与农村男人围着篝火聊天,掘、发展每个村庄平等运动的“领头羊”,再通过这些“领头羊”向更多人传输性别平等思想。 Nelson 打破了我对非洲国家的一些偏见。2017年世界经济论坛发表的《全球性别差距报告》也显示,非洲的性别平等指数高于亚洲。近几十年来经济飞速增长的中国,性别平等指数低于世界平均水平,比津巴布韦、肯尼亚、塞内加尔等非洲国家要低,是否因为非洲比中国有更多像 … Continue reading

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Portraits of artist – Jonathan Roxmouth

He was not offended or upset at all when I shut him behind a fire escape door. I  asked him to look into my camera through a  glassed slit. Then I asked him to place his hand up against the … Continue reading

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Portraits of artists: Fang Lijun

It probably tickled him when I asked Fang Lijun if I could photograph his bald head with his famous “2016 Autumn ”  as a background. That photo taken, he told me that the painted bald head to his left was his, too!  He … Continue reading

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Tai Kwun

Tai Kwun in Central, Hong Kong, a former prison, is  now a  centre for heritage and arts that will bring culture and leisure experiences. I had an assignment there last Friday and was fascinated by the space there, thus returned … Continue reading

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Portraits of artist: Tsai Ming-liang

(Photo copyright: SCMP/XIAOMEI CHEN) After the interview, I said to the famous Taiwanese director: “I watched ‘What Time Is It There’ years ago.” “In China?” He asked. “In China,” I nodded. “You must have watched a pirated one,” he laughed. … Continue reading

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