I am NOBODY 我是无名之辈

(注:中文在英文下面)

I AM NOBODY

One of my all time favorite poets is Emily Dickinson. One of my favorite poems by her is I AM NOBODY –

I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us?
Don’t tell! They’d banish us – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog –
To tell one’s name – the livelong June –
To an admiring Bog!

Dickinson and this poet by her reminds me of many ancient Chinese poets, who yearned for a life with the freedom of being NOBODY, yet could not really afford it for complicated reasons. Some led a life of a NOBODY, yet yearned to be a SOMEBODY secretly.

I sometimes wonder: did Emily Dickinson really enjoy a life as a NOBODY? Or – though she was too shy to be a SOMEBODY, she might still sometimes yearn to be known, at least as a poet?

Often, NOBODY is the opposite of SOMEBODY, who is famous, or notorious or important to the public – those celebrities, you know. In this sense, I am absolutely a NOBODY, and I am happy about this, because I have the freedom that a SOMEBODY doesn’t or cannot have.

There is something ironic about this NODODY-SOMEBODY relationship. A lot of times, you may have to become a SOMEBODY so as to genuinely enjoy a life as an absolute NOBODY. This is because being a SOMEBODY could earn you enough resources that a NOBODY couldn’t access. Only after accumulating enough resources as a SOMEBODY can a NOBOBY escape the sufferings from lack of resources, which is typical in a NOBODY’S life. Only then can a NOBODY enjoy the real freedom of being a NOBODY.

Unfortunately, in real life, few can make that happen. And few celebrities want to become a NOBODY.

What can I, a NOBOYD, do then?

Well, I guess, I just have to try to get the most out of a life of being a NODODY. That’s why I start this photo journal of a NOBODY.

Today is the first visual journal of NOBODY.

She is wearing a huge magnolia, sniffing the fragrance, listening to her favorite music – from a sea shell. It’s a peaceful morning she cherishes very much.

我向来喜欢艾米莉·狄金森(Emily Dickinson;1830-1886),还有她的诗歌。她那首《我是无名之辈》,我十多年前读过一次,就能背诵,至今不能忘却:

我是无名之辈!你是谁?

你——是无名之辈?

那咱俩就成了一对——可别声张!

他们会把咱们挤兑——要小心啊!

赫赫显要的人-多无聊!

多招摇像只青蛙

向仰慕你的泥沼

整日聒噪-炫耀自己的名号。

生于19世纪的这位美国女诗人,总披一袭白衣,几乎足不出户,连邻居都不认识她。她若出门了,邻居小孩会以为撞见鬼--因为她过于脱俗。她总让我想起中国古代文人的遁世情怀,让我想起陶渊明的“采菊东篱下,悠然见南山”。自然,也会想起他们不能遁世的复杂原因或不得不遁世的难言之隐。她的诗其实富有中国诗词的禅意。

今天,她又让我想起冰心祖父的家训:知足知不足,有为有不为。多么简单的文字,多么高深的哲理,又是多么难实现的理想!

狄金森这首诗和冰心祖父的家训有异曲同工之妙:简单的文字表达着高深的哲理和几乎可望不可及理想生活状态。

无名之辈,常常是显赫人物的对立。无名之辈没有显赫人物的光彩,但拥有显赫人物所不可能享受的自由。可是,很讽刺的是,要想真正、实在、充分保持并享受无名之辈的自由,经常需要借助显赫人物的权力,要首先通过显赫之名之权之力,获取充足的资源,而后才可安乐遁世。不过,极少显赫人物能放弃他们的风光、权力和丰富的物质资源,选择遁世。

无论是谁,都不能不食人间烟火。 现实中,让烟火日日升腾的资源,往往是掌握在显赫人物的手中,而非无名之辈的手里。为了让炊烟每天从你家的烟窗飘出,有时候不折腰还不行。前天,我读了关于李白的一篇文章。据那篇文章,大笔写下“安能摧眉折腰事权贵,使我不得开心颜”的这位诗仙,其实就曾几次折腰,入赘贵族之门。如果李白过着天天都饿肚子的生活,他的诗歌风格大概会很不一样。我有时还怀疑,他会不会饿着肚子写诗呢?

其实,对某些人来说,能稍微折腰,还是幸运的。更多人是连折腰的机会都没有,比如,咱们中国的农民伯伯。还有人,没什么折腰的机会,也不太敢折腰,只好将就。我是不是属于这类人呢?

不管怎样,将就就将就吧,但也不要忘记取点小乐。所以,我今天开始做无名之辈的视觉日记。 细想想,这其实有悖于无名之辈的遁世心理:既然遁世了,又搞什么视觉日记?可是,再想想,人生不就是那么矛盾的吗?

今日的无名之辈,遛狗的时候,忍不住偷了一朵木兰花,回家后就迫不及待地戴上。她头戴木兰花,在花香里安然倾听——发自海螺的音乐。无名之辈的这个周六早晨,简单而温馨。

This entry was posted in p-journal and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.