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Tag Archives: rachel padding
death gives meaning to life?
Rachel Padding的眼睛,她的沉思,和自伤的疤痕。| A triptich of Rachel Padding: her deep eyes full of stories, her calm pose at a cemetey and a scar from a self cut. Notes: English text is below Chinese text. 不到一个星期的时间,我收到噩耗两次。先是纽约的好友丧母。几天后,Rex来电告知其兄已赴黄泉。 好友的母亲,我其实只见过照片。好友爱讲父母的往事,还曾开玩笑说,带我见他母亲——假装做他的女朋友,她一定会问我们什么时候结婚。所以,我总觉得他母亲熟悉而亲切。我也以为会见老人家一面的。没想到,她竟走了。她走了,朋友来信祥叙对母亲的挚爱和崇敬。我好几遍读着他的信,泪水盈盈。 Rex的哥哥生前虽然总像一个不董事的孩子,但他心肠很好,并喜欢吃我做的中国菜。他走的时候还很年轻,所以,大家都觉得震惊。Rex在电话里哭泣。我很难过,不知道怎样安慰他。任何语言都显得苍白、薄弱、无力。唯有默默地倾听,陪他流泪。我更想起他的母亲。没有什么比丧子更悲惨。这是她第二次丧子。此外,她还相继失去了弟弟、父母和丈夫。今年四月,她家里失火,损失惨重。七月,她遭遇车祸,虽然她本人没受重伤,但惊吓了一场。车子撞坏了,也是啰嗦麻烦事。这个曾经年轻、仍旧美丽、聪慧的女人一辈子都多灾多难。真应了中国人常说的“红颜多薄命”。我无法想象她是怎么抗过来的。希望她今后不用再经历惨痛损失,能平静度过余生。 两个生命的忽然消失,让我无语深思。到夜里,就做怪梦。前夜梦见自己双臂的皮肉被削去,只剩下筋骨,那画面就像以前生理学课上老师展示的解剖图。梦里还有一个没有面孔的人,没有性别。他双臂同样没有皮肉。他说,削去旧的皮肉,好让新的皮肉张出来。我于是时不时低头看自己的双臂,似乎在期待新皮肉的生长。 这是不是就是生死相生相承的意思呢? 我想起上个月认识的Rachel Padding。这个年仅22岁的年轻姑娘坚信死亡使得生命有意义。 … Continue reading
Posted in p-journal
Tagged chinese photographer, death, life and death, rachel padding, thoughts of death, xiaomei chen, xiaomei chen photography, 中国摄影师, 思考, 生死, 陈小枚
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